illicitly | (Reply)

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I'm so sorry. I... I don't know what happened. What came over me. I just started walking into the sea and couldn't stop myself.

[The words come out pained and embarrassed. It'd been wrong to just abandon Shi Qingxuan without so much as a word like that. He was special to him. He'd deserved so much better than that. Huaisang wants to do better than that.]

I won't do it again. I'll stay with you this time. Even if I get scared.

[He's rambling a bit again, without really thinking about what he's saying, just speaking directly from his heart in a way he hasn't done in the past ten years. He pulls Shi Qingxuan into his arms as if it's the most natural action in the world for him to do, simply just holding him for a moment. His eyes are soft and warm with affection as they settle on that beautiful face, his smile a tad bit wobbly but completely genuine.]

I missed you so much. I thought about you while I was gone. I didn't know what to make of it. It all had to be a dream. None of it made sense but you and everything between us felt so real. I... I wanted it to be real.

[So Huaisang wasn't alone. So neither of them were alone.]