Open RP Post

[illicitly]

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Open post for threads with Nie Huaisang outside of games and memes.

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[inflexibility]

"We can find another way. I don't...I can come see you more often. We can arrange hunts together." He counters quietly, reaching to brush fingertips over his cheek.

"I want to be here for you, Huaisang. I know how difficult this is for you." His eyes close for a moment, Jiang Cheng exhaling a breath.

"Let me help."

[illicitly]

Jiang Cheng would know, wouldn't he? He'd been even younger than Huaisang is now when his parents and sect were slain. He'd assumed his position during a war. And here was Huaisang falling apart because his brother had been murdered by someone they'd both cared for during peacetime.

It all makes him sick. Huaisang's hands clench into fists by his sides, his jaw taut as he grinds his teeth. The stare he gives Jiang Cheng is deeply pained and pitiful, his face strained with grief: for his brother, for himself, and for his lover. Or rather former lover if Huaisang can find the strength and courage inside himself to do what needs to be done for both their sakes.

"You can't help me, A-Cheng," he says, his control slipping. fists unclenching as he reaches out to touch him one last time. "We both have a duty to our sects. It's been years. We can't be together the way we both want."

Huaisang's voice breaks but he pushes on. He has to. It's the right thing to do.

For both their sakes.

"We have to let it go and move on."

[inflexibility]

The touch has him moving, pulling Huaisang into his lap, arms wrapping around him, as he ignores the words coming out of the other man's mouth. They don't matter right now, not after the way Huaisang just looked at him.

That look is something he can't stand. The expression leaving him shaking his head, drawing Huaisang's head down onto his shoulders.

"I have no intention of marrying, Nie Huaisang." It's harsh sounding, his eyes closing for a moment.

"And if you want that, it can wait until tomorrow. Let me help you today."

[illicitly]

Huisang sags in Jiang Cheng's arms like a puppet whose strings have been cut. His hands go limp in his lap and he just rests his head against the other man's shoulder. He blinks once, his eyes blurring with unshed tears, his lips starting to tremble. When he's being held so close like this, Huaisang can almost pretend that nothing's change. That neither of their worlds had ended and it was just the two of them, alone, like it'd been those nights back at the Cloud Recesses.

It's wrong, especially after his words about breaking things off between them completely, but Huaisang can't help it. He's coming apart at the seams and Jiang Cheng's offering his help, if only for the night. Huaisang lifts his hand after a while to skim his fingertips lightly across his lover's jawline.

It's not fair. He still loves him. They still love each other.

"A-Cheng, I -"

Huaisang's voice cracks again, followed by a strangled sob. He wants him. He wants him so much.

And he can't have him ever again. He won't dishonor his ancestors, his brother. Nie Mingjue entrusted their sect's future to him by making Huaisang his heir. He can't, he won't betray that trust.

The Qinghe Nie Sect will not suffer another betrayal again. Not as long as Nie Huaisang leads it.

His jaw sets.

"I do," he murmurs, pained. "I intend to marry someday. It's my duty now."

[inflexibility]

Huaisang leaning into him, that half choked sob has Jiang Cheng tightening his hold briefly, but it's the fingers that have him lifting a hand to catch Huaisang's chin, his lips finding the other sect leader's.

Even if he keeps it brief, his eyes closing when Huaisang finally finished his sentence, the words enough to have him inhaling a breath. But he's not giving up, not yet.

"Someday isn't today, Huaisang. Let me stay with you today." Let him at least offer this much comfort. "..My feelings haven't changed, even if yours have."

[illicitly]

They haven't. After this long, Huaisang isn't sure they ever will. But the cunning and crafty side of himself whispers that it's best if Jiang Cheng believes that. It'll be easier on both of them in the end if he thinks that. Jiang Cheng's never liked it much when Huaisang's sacrificed himself for his sake so the best solution is to simply keep it from him.

The kiss, as brief as it is, still ignites his desire. Huaisang can't help but respond to it as he's done so many times before. His body relaxes in Jiang Cheng's arms, becoming more welcoming. His eyes, still damp with unshed tears, meets Jiang Cheng's, mouth slightly downturned in a slight frown. Then he just sighs, long and low. Suddenly, he just feels too tired to think.

"It's only for tonight," Huaisang warns before pressing his lips to the other man's.

[inflexibility]

Only for tonight. The words locked in his brain but he had no real intention of letting Huaisang hold himself to that. Still for the moment, he moves, shifts until he's pinning Huaisang under him on the bed as he turns that kiss into another one.

"Just let me make you forget for a little while." Because it's the least he can do. He knows what it feels like to be where Huaisang is, after all and unlike himself, Huaisang doesn't have the rage to keep the pain at bay.

"I'll take care of you."

[illicitly]

No rage? If only Jiang Cheng knew the truth. If only he knew of the violent thoughts that threatened to consume Huaisang utterly when he allowed himself to think about Jin Guangyao too long. Of how much he yearned to see the man who'd killed his brother broken and bloody with his life tattered in ruins around him.

But for now, Huaisang's willing to let Jiang Cheng lay him down and pin him back onto the bed, weakly returning his kiss. He's still tired and his lover's body is warm enough to distract him from the lonely chill his life will become after this night is over. He won't be able to truly forget all that's happened but he can pretend to, at least for a while, that by itself is enough.

"All right, A-Cheng," he says in a hushed, emotionless tone. "Take care of me."

[inflexibility]

The lack of response and his tone are enough to have Jiang Cheng pulling back, moving to stretch out beside Huaisang on the bed before he just pulls the other man closer. Fingers smooth through his hair slowly, his eyes half closing.

"I love you, A-Sang." It's quiet, lips brushing his forehead.

[illicitly]

This gets more of a response out of Huaisang than pinning and kissing him had. His body was still slack, offering no resistance as Jiang Cheng pulled him closer. His eyes are wet and the tears still refuse to fall but he's actively cuddling closer now, at least. fingers curling a bit into his lover's robes much like they had when they'd shared a bed at the Cloud Recesses so many years ago.

There's so much he can't talk about. So much that Huaisang doesn't really want to talk about. The less Jiang Cheng knows, the safer he'll be when Huaisang's ready to move against Jin Guangyao, he thinks. And he will move against him in time, once he's collected himself, assessed his resources, and thought up a proper plan to put into motion. Neither the Qinghe Nie Sect or it's leader will let this injustice stand.

For now though, he just rests, managing a faint, watery smile when Jiang Cheng says those words. For the first time since they'd first begun saying them to each other, however, Huaisang doesn't say them back.

He believes that they truly will be better off this way with the road ahead of him.

[inflexibility]

He hadn't really been expecting a response, not with Huaisang in his current state, but it still hurts, his eyes closing before he just drops his head onto the pillow, keeping him close.

"Try to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

[illicitly]

He sleeps fitfully, eyelids twitching, his head shaking from side to side. The tears he can't shed when he's awake trickle down his cheeks. More than once, he cries out his brother's name in his sleep all the while begging him not to leave him alone. Desperate apologies for being a bad brother and a bad heir spill from his lips as he sleeptalks in a way he never used to do when they were younger.

All through the night he clings helplessly to Jiang Cheng while sobbing in his sleep.

And then at one point, Huaisang's sleeptalking takes on a very intense tone, his body becoming unusually still as he finally seems to calm down a bit.

"I'll make it right, Da Ge," the distraught young man says in a voice so full of anger and hate that it hardly sounds human at all. "I promise I will."

[inflexibility]

He doesn't sleep, listens to Huaisang and tries to soothe him through the crying, even if he doesn't try to wake him, but it's the final part that has him focused.

Because he knows that tone, that anger intimately, because he's been there, had exacted his own revenge even if not with his own hands. Still he doesn't speak, just lets Huaisang keep sleeping until morning.

But it's enough to have him thinking, considering his options on how to address this when they're somewhere not a discussion conference.

[illicitly]

Eventually, Huaisang awakens, rubbing his eyes and oblivious to anything he'd said in his sleep. Or the fact that he's been talking in his sleep, at all. The members of his sect know better than to ask questions and even if they didn't, no one else has ever been in a position to know.

As he blinks away sleep, he peers blearily at Jiang Cheng.

"You didn't have to stay. Did you get any sleep at all?"

Even if it's crucial that he distance himself now, Huaisang can't help but fuss over him a little. Years of habit aren't so easily broken, it seems.

[inflexibility]

"Off and on." He lifts a had, fingers idly brushing hair out of Huaisang's face before they drop back to his side.

"If I wanted to spend some time with you in Qinghe, would I be welcome?"

[illicitly]

He should refuse. Make this a sharp, clean break so they can both start healing and put the past behind them. Be strong enough to say no.

But he isn't. Not yet.

And he's often dreamed of Jiang Cheng coming to stay with him in the Unclean Realm, at least for a visit. The land is rough and rugged, nowhere as beautiful as Lotus Pier, but it's still home.

Huaisang's expression remains blank, his eyes sliding away to rest on the door. One of his mem should be arriving to check on him and inform him when his horse is ready. After a moment, he speaks slowly and cautiously.

"If you want to come, you may."

[inflexibility]

"I want to." To be there for him, in whatever way he can, even just for a little while. He's not going to interfere in whatever Huaisang has planned, but letting him go alone doesn't sit right.

"I'll send word to Lotus Pier when we get there."

[illicitly]

"...All right."

Even now, Huaisang aches for him, wanting nothing more than to give up and offer himself up to Jiang Cheng's pleasure as he has so many mornings in the past after stealing a night to themselves. But his will is stronger than than that but after a pained, longing look, he forces himself to pull away and drag himself off the bed.

He's already getting ready to leave when one of his men arrives with the news he'd been waiting for. The man, his elder by quite a few years and one of his brother's most trusted subordinates, doesn't even seem to question Jiang Cheng's presence in his master's room so early in the morning. He simply greets him respectfully, relays his message, and turns around and leaves.

"We'll be on our way soon. Do you have everything you need, Jiang-xiong? If you need to stop by your room for anything first, now's the time. I'll meet you outside."

[inflexibility]

"I'll send everything back to Lotus Pier but I do need a few minutes." Except for a change of clothing. His formal robes aren't his everyday wear after all.

"...We could use my sword if you want to send your people ahead." It's out before he can stop himself, gaze drifting to Huaisang for a moment.

[illicitly]

Huaisang closes his eyes.

He remembers. Oh, how he remembers what it's like to fly on his sword with Jiang Cheng's arms wrapped so securely around him so he didn't fall. It been one of the happiest and most moments early in their relationship, the prelude to an impromptu holiday with just the two of them.

He should say no. He should refuse the offer and insist on his men accompanying them. But his mouth won't form the words and he can't help the starkly helpless look of yearning on his face. The ache intensifies and all Huaisang can do is weakly nod his consent.

"I'll instruct my men to go on ahead then and I'll wait for you at the entrance."

[inflexibility]

He nods briefly before going to collect enough clothing for a stay and instructing the rest of his entourage to head back to Lotus Pier. Then it's just a matter of walking down the steps to meet Huaisang, his footsteps slowing as he approaches the other sect leader.

"...Are you ready to go?"

[illicitly]

"Yes, I am."

He looks and sounds tired, beneath his expression cracks of vulnerability. It's hardly a countenance befitting the new leader of the Qinghe Nie Sect and he knows just how pathetic he must look right now. He continues to stand there, eyes downcast, the nervous in air around him palpable.

But he still isn't running away.

"It'll be a couple of days by sword travel. The air might be a little chillier than what you're used to in Lotus Pier."

[inflexibility]

"I'll be fine." He draws his sword, lets it drop to float before offering Huaisang his hand to help him up onto the sword before joining him. He's got an arm firmly around his waist as they leave, heading in the direction of Qinghe.

And he doesn't even try to make Huaisang talk, flying with him until they have to stop in a town. Jiang Cheng getting them rooms at the inn. Separate rooms because he doesn't want to presume after the previous night.

[illicitly]

Huaisang leans into his embrace the whole way, just resting and not speaking, barely even paying attention to the ground below during the flight. The separate rooms are the right call; he seems to relax a little once he hears it. As sect leaders, appearances must be maintained. Even if Jiang Cheng has no desire to marry, Huaisang's future marriage prospects will dwindle to nothing it their status as lovers ever becomes known to the public and there will be no bride to help him continue the clan lineage.

After they've taken the evening meal and gone to their separate rooms for the night, Huaisang waits until it's after dark and most of the inn's inhabitant have gone to bed before sneaking over to Jiang Cheng's room. He softly raps on the doorframe in the same code he used to use when sneaking over at the Cloud Recesses and waits.

[inflexibility]

He doesn't honestly remember the last time he slept consistently, and it's only a moment or two before the door opens, letting Huaisang inside. He doesn't speak, just moves back to settle in the bed.

Makes room for him. But he's not pushing attention on Huaisang either. If this helps him sleep, it's more than enough.