By the time you figure out the rules I broke

[Huaisang wanted his friend back.

The chill from before eases into something milder, sadder, Shi Qingxuan's finger pads pressing down to move in soothing circles instead of gripping at his robes. He lets the last of the tears subside, the shaking to cease, for Huaisang to thrust out the last of his words.]

The person you remember him from that many years of ago is no longer there. [he starts gently, giving him a squeeze as he does.] If I'm understanding what you're telling, that person never existed. Perhaps any of that goodness had gone by then.

[He is loathe to deny redemption, but has he even taken the proper course of redemption?]

He's changed you into the worst sort of man, and you don't want to turn into that once again, not even here.