[Huaisang simply holds Shi Qingxuan close, stroking his hair. He would never fault him for moving on, for making other friends or seeking new connections to replace the one he'd lost. Hasn't he, too, felt that constant ache of loneliness most of his life? That yearning for someone he could truly be a companion to, if only for a brief time? For someone to love him and value him just for who he is? Someone he could feel comfortable in his own skin with?

His affections for this man have grown slowly but steadily over time, the more time they spent in each other's company. Shi Qingxuan had become such a regular part of his daily routine after Wei Wuxian had disappeared. Huaisang's hold tightens a little, his own tears falling silently. He hadn't meant to inflict the same hurt he'd experienced when he'd found himself abruptly left behind and nothing left to show for his patience. That he'd done it to the same person who'd quelled his own persistent ache of sorrow makes him feel sick with guilt.]

I want to make it up to you this time, Shi-xiong. Whatever I can do for you. I want to help.

[He's still fumbling and rambling a bit but he means what he's saying. He turns to kiss Shi Qingxuan on the top of his head.]

You're really are very important to me, you know.

[However, words alone mean little. He needs to follow through on his actions more and not do stupid things like walk into the ocean.]