illicitly | (Reply)

From:

You better not! What if you had drowned at the time? What if a giant fish had eaten you?! Just so you know, I am absolutely incapable of swimming and wouldn't have been of much help.

[His green eyes widen with all the morbid possibilities a currently healthy, safe and sound Huaisang is refuting by his own presence, body warm and very much alive. He could taste the hypocrisy at the back of his own throat. Had he not walked into a furious blizzard many months ago, surrendering himself to the elements and the voices calling him? Had he been blamed for his momentary lapse in judgment, then?

He allows himself to be held. He allows himself to be soothed, to be wanted. Shi Qingxuan hasn't been entirely on his own for the past several months. Peak Lord Shen had checked on him frequently, and whenever he seemed more withdrawn, as well. The cafe patrons never failed to steal a smile off his lips and more. However, the first week in the wake of Huaisang's departure had been hard.

As were the last few weeks, when he has been reminded exactly of where he stood.

The vulnerable expression that replaces the wonder on his face is more becoming of his youthful appearance than his ancient age and esteemed status. The shoulder bared by the makeshift apparel is an inviting comfort, and it's where Qingxuan buries his face, his taller body diminished in height when they lie so close. He starts trembling in Huaisang's arms, loathe to pull away, the silent telltale of signs of weeping filling the small space between them.

He's been thrust back into loneliness so abruptly, and now that it's over, his excellent sense for assigning each one of his complicated feelings its own undisturbed space falls down like a house of golden foils.]