illicitly | Open RP Post

"I know. Me too." he was so focused on getting to Qinghe, he didn't allow himself to think about everything and everyone he left behind.

Kore was alone after losing so many of her friends. He built her a temple in case this happened but his heart clenched at the thought of leaving her behind as well. Or the ones from different worlds he would never see.

Not to mention his friends and family who are dead here and he would never see again. Minshan, Chengmei, Mingjue, Zixuan, Yanli. He was lucky to be able to spend time with them and grow close but the loss would threaten to break him if he focused on it.

No, right now he only wanted to focus on who he did have. Wanted to feel his body, his soul rock with him.

"Yes, Please." with that he gently lowered himself down onto him. reaching back to angle him in properly. He let out a soft hiss as he felt himself breached.

"A-Yao," Huaisang groans at the sensation of that tight heat enveloping him.

His hands move to grip the other man's hips but despite his eagerness to bury himself deep in his lover, he exercises patience. The grip relaxes, turning into tender caresses to sides, hips, and thighs. He doesn't take his eyes off Jin Ziyao, almost out of fear that he might disappear.

"I love you. I love how you feel. I can't wait for you to ride me," he breathes. "You're so beautiful."

He's everything he ever wanted and didn't understand he needed until it was too late. To be given more than one chance to realize his mistake and make amends like this...

His expression was soft. He shivered as he felt Huaisang's hands on his hips. They were warm. He loved the sensation of being stretched out like this. Knowing it was Nie Huaisang that was bringing this feeling to him. That he was here and real.

This man who he had never seen. That he didn't allow himself to examine what wasn't there. What he felt for him. He was so blinded by another.

Jin Ziyao pushed his hips down with a soft sigh until he felt himself bottom out. His legs wrapped around his hips, his heel's pushing up against his butt.

"I love you. You feel so good inside of me my A-Sang. I love you so much, I love it when we make love. I want to do this for the rest of my life. Have you make love to me every day." His hands cupped the side of Huaisang's face. He wanted to watch all of his expressions as he made love to him.

"You are so beautiful."

"We will."

His love for this man wouldn't die, no matter how hard he tried to kill it. Huaisang never could have anticipated when he first saw his former nemesis at the gates of the Unclean Realm on the island that it would've eventually led to this. Even six months ago, if someone had told him that a romance would spark between him and Jin Guangyao, he'd never have believed it.

But soon, he'll be leaving home to be with him, to marry him, and start a new life - the peaceful life that should've been his.

He holds him close, just savoring the feel of him, his breathing getting heavier. He starts kissing and biting the other man's neck, shoulder, and chest again, fully intending to mark him all over again. His embrace turns protective, his fingers tangling possessively in Ziyao's long hair. He doesn't speak, very focused on marking his lover as his as he begins to roll his hips up into Ziyao.

Jin Ziyao tilted his head back allowing him to mark his neck and chest. He wanted the marks the proof that all of this was real that he was alive and breathing. His fingers trailing down to pinch over his nipples. His own erection pressed throbbing between their bodies.

His breath came in small little hitches as his lover moved inside of him. He watched him dreamily. His eyes were half-lidded and only the sound of their gasps and the motions of their bodies could be heard in the sect leader's quarters.

It was a convoluted path that led him to Nie Huaisang, and they could have saved so much heartbreak if they had realized this truth earlier in their lives. Tears pressed down his face as he angled his hips as he rocked with him.

He pressed his face into the other man's neck taking in his scent and pressing a series of hot kisses against him. "More my love, please..."

Part of it still feels like a dream to him, too, but one Huaisang never wants to wake up from. The cold brutality of his new reality is too much for him to bear, just as the battle he'd fought for far too long on his own had been too much. He cranes his neck to give Ziyao more access, soft, moans spilling from his own lips.

None of his usual dirty banter comes out. Right now, he's determined to accept and feel his feelings down to his core as he picks up his pace. Tears of his own are spilling out as he thrusts deep into his lover, hands returning to grip his hips. Some emotions are too complicated, too intense to put into words and he's weary after the shock of the monster attack on the island, call to the sea, and the days he'd spent alone here trying to cope with his grief.

After a bit, his lips seek Ziyao's again in a softer, bittersweet kiss.

He drank him in, small desperate kisses pressing against his neck his jaw, and the lobe of his ear. His teeth marked the soft spots against his neck sucking deep red marks into the flesh there. His A-Sang was so very beautiful all soft skin and hard steel.

There was still a lot of guilt he would have to work through at some point, figure out who and what he can be in this new life after leaving the cultivation world that he had worked so hard to be accepted by. It was his first mistake.

...But he didn't owe anyone that anymore. He did owe a few people something... Jin Ling mostly came to mind. Even Er-ge was not someone he could really deal with yet.

He kissed Huaisang back sweetly. his thumbs wiping his tears. They will have all their lives to figure out how to continue to heal from the last few decades worth of pain, not to mention the things they faced on the island, the stress of acting like a leader who could protect people again. The loss of his support system the worry of his friends there.

He squeezed around him, angling back so that Huaisang hit that sweet spot inside him, a deep breathy moan escaping his lips. Hands moving to hold Huaisang by the shoulders, his pace speeding up.

Huaisang accepts the marking, needing the proof that his lover is here, alive, so he can look in the mirror and remind himself he's not alone, that he's loved for who he is - flaws, shortcomings, and all. Ziyao's tight, warm, sheath drags more moans out of him as he thrusts even more deeply into him, gripping his hips hard enough to leave a light bruise. It takes him a moment to realize how hard he's holding the other man but once he does, his hand relaxes slightly.

"Sorry," he murmurs, contrite. "Didn't mean to be rough."

He punctuates his words with a gentle, apologetic kiss to his lover's lips

"You feel so good, so tight and hot around me. You're beautiful. I love you. You're mine."

He'll even be more his once they make their vows and just the thought of it excites him even more. He's always dreamed of having a cultivation partner to explore things with from his books.

It felt like a confirmation. That this was real that they were here together. That all that they went through together, peeling back the layers of calloused skin together was real. That he had with him the only man who could understand and accept him, and love him for who he is. All of their sins are left in the open.

"Mnn. I don't mind if you are rough." he laughed, breathlessly.

"I like the feeling of your hands all over me. I'm yours all yours. Only yours, My love.

Please keep making me yours. Fill me up and claim me." His gaze was half-lidded and he was lost in the rush of motion. Just their movement and the intense building pleasure. His hands reached out to cup Huaisang's face. He wanted to see every expression.

He was going to marry this man. He was going to have a life together with him and have his children. He took a family member but will fill his house with many more to make up for it. At the end of it, Huaisang was all he wanted.

He wanted to grow old with him, raise children, make art and write poetry. Kiss under the stars and cultivate with him.

His movements are only more frantic, his toes curling as the sensation began to crest.

"A-Sang! I can't hold back much more!"

Their encounters are always so passionate, holding an edge of desperation. On the island, they'd clung to their stolen time together. Ziyao's words urge Huaisang on and his grip tightens once again as his hip piston off the bed, driving into the other man harder and deeper. His expression grows more focused and intense, his face flushed, bangs sticking to his forehead.

His mouth seeks Ziyao's again, groaning against his lips.

"I want you for the rest of our lives," he manages to get out. "I'm almost there, go ahead and finish if you can't hold on."

His mass of hair stuck to his sweat-slicked back. He moved in rhythm to him. His fingers caressed him as he felt his hips lift off the bed. He kissed back, passionately tongue tracing along the edge of his lip. Soft whimpering noises escaped his throat.

It was a bit like drowning when he made love to Huaisang. Traveling into a deep ocean where they are not certain where each ends. It was unlike any experience he had with any other person.

As he broke away he gave a small heated nod. His eyes fixed on his lover. Between heated breaths, he whispered softly.

"I love you." he had to say it. He had to tell him how much he did.

He came with a sharp cry of Huaisang's name, splattering against his lover's chest.

Those whispered words, the clenching passage around his cock, and the warmth splattering across his chest are enough to push Huaisang to the edge. He manages a few more thrusts, groaning out his lover's name when he comes, kissing his lover deeply as he rides out his climax. Once his vision clears and he catches his breath, he simply rests his forehead against the other man's, a beautiful, happy smile playing across his lips.

He pulls out carefully, laying back for a moment before reaching for a cloth nearby to wipe off his chest. And with that gesture, now familiar after their lovemaking on the island, it really settles in on Huaisang that they're here. They're both alive and this is real.

"I want to marry you soon. I don't want to wait for a big wedding. That can come later and it can be as grand as we want it to be," he murmurs quietly, cuddling up to Ziyao's side.

Nie Huaisang was beautiful.

Every single thing about him was beautiful. It was all he could think about as the haze of pleasure began to fade and the press of his love's forehead was against him. His breath evened out slowly and he moved his hips a bit so he could pull out of him.

Jin Ziyao lay still as he was wiped up with care and smiled softly as he watched him, wrapping his arms around him and cuddling close when he came back in.

"I want to marry you. I have some of the gifts I was going to give you. Let us marry for ourselves, somewhere beautiful, and then have a big wedding for the public. I can't wait anymore. I know we said we were going to take it slowly, but all I want to do is bow with you in front of the gods." His eyes were wet and his voice hoarse.

"After everything, everywhere I have run to and run from...
You are my home, Nie Huaisang.

You. My kind sweet gentle scholar. My beautiful ruthless cunning leader. Everything about you feels like home. Please take me as your husband. I want to spend every day and night with you.

I was serious about bearing your children."

Of course, Huaisang fears what his ancestors would think. To wed a man who had murdered one of their own, even to protect him from his brother's wrath is a complicated matter. He wants this, however. A partner, a family. Being able to continue his clan's line. No one would approve of such a match for him but he wants this life, this man he's loved since he was a confused boy only just starting to learn what love and loyalty meant.

"I'll announce I'm going on a trip to the elders tomorrow. It'll give us a chance to pick up a few things for the ceremony. I know a place we can go to wed undisturbed. There's an old hunter's cabin in the woods I visit when I need to get away."

He's going through with this, he's decided, regardless of his anxiety. He's been an outlier all his life, frequently alone and feeling out of place within his own sect and family. But just as Huaisang is his lover's home, his lover is also his home now.

"The wedding robes might be a little less ornate but sketches of our parents and other things can be used. We can drape the cabin in red and make our wedding bed beautiful for us."

"That sounds lovely. I need to go and get my things from the inn as well. Make me a list and I can work on collecting things in town. I do not mind our robes being less ornate. I would bow in bloody rags as long as I am with you.

We need to find the next auspicious day for us to marry."

It was complicated. Thier families were intertwined in blood and hatred and love. They were bound in the same way. He closed his eyes as his love laid out a plan. He lived his life trying to do what his mother wanted for him. To please his father to marry well and be a great nobleman.

He wanted this for himself. He took a deep breath and turned to him.

"A-Sang...I need to find Mama's bones. I can paint her from memory, but I have to place her to rest before I can bow to her." He hadn't asked the diety to bring here there, because of the sexual nature of that land.

When he first met Huaisang on the island he had said he had her whole and somewhere safe.

"I would have liked her to meet you. I know she would have loved you A-Sang."

"She's safe. I buried her at my cabin so animals wouldn't ravage her. She's there, waiting for you."

A flicker of guilt crosses his expression. In his rage, he'd thought to desecrate her as his brother had been but in the end, he hadn't been able to go through with it. Still, that he'd even considered such a brutal act toward an innocent woman would love him.

"She's safe," he repeats softly. "You'll be able to bow to her."

He doesn't ask about Jin Guangshan.

"I'll make a list before we part tomorrow and look into a date."

He lets out a soft sob he didn't know he was holding him. Into his lover's shoulders, just allowing him to feel the emotions he had held in for so long. In some ways he never got to grieve her and others he grieved her every single day.

"Thank you. Thank you A-Sang," he whispered softly, before wiping his tears with a hand.

He would have rather bowed to his elder brother. Jin Zixuan who had held him wanted him than the father who didn't. He was a bit sad to leave him behind on the island, among the many others they loved. He was grateful for the time he had with them.

"Okay.

That sounds lovely. I'll get everything we would need for a wedding. Should I get your favorite foods and wine? How well-stocked is the cabin? It will probably need cleaning as well."

Huaisang catches his lover's hand in his own and brushes a kiss across the knuckles.

"If you want to, love. I'll see to it that we're well-stocked with Yunmeng spices upon our return. The cabin has enough food to last us for a time but I fear that nothing there is suitable for a wedding feast."

He tries to remember when he'd last thought to stock the place. It was so long ago, even before he'd been whisked away to the island.

"Perhaps we should stop by the market along the way and pick up some things before we go."

Another soft kiss to the back of his hand.

"There are blankets and cloth and paints, however. Supplies for capturing wild birds, at least."

"Okay, that sounds like a good idea. I'll get what I can ready from the markets after a bath, we can meet in front of the large inn at the edge of town. I'll be in a different form, but we can read one another's thoughts.

I'll grab some supplies to hunt and fish as well. We will make a wonderful feast. I haven't felt this excited in so long my love. I cannot wait to show you my gifts for you." he leaned forward to kiss him once deeply, smiling.

He stood up then and stretched his legs out. His back was sore but he felt content. He walked over to Huaisang's table to retrieve a small knife, cutting off a bit of long brown hair. He quickly braided the strands together and walked back.

He kneeled in front of him and tied the small braid of hair to his wrist.

"This way you won't have to worry that this was a dream. You will know that I am here with you my love." His eyes shone as he regarded him before standing up and shapeshifting into a bird.

His lover knows him so well. How can anyone understand what Huaisang needs so perfectly? But it's always been like that between them, hasn't it? The other man understanding thoughts and feelings that Huaisang himself struggles to understand much less voice out loud. His best friend, the love of his life, soon to be his spouse as long as they live.

The room feels cold and empty again as soon as he's gone and Huaisang immediately touches the braid on his wrist to reassure himself. This is real. All of this is real. Jin Ziyao is in love wih him and wants to be with him, even after everything. He's alive and they're going to be wed. It's not an act or a betrayal.

It takes him some time to get ready: sketches of his parents, a pair of fine goblets, a bottle of his best wine, plenty of oil, gold jewelry and enough money to purchase an adequate amount of red fabric to adorning the matrimonial bed along with food. Once he stuffs it all into a qiankun bag, he heads out to inform the elders that he'll be away on a personal matter for a week or two. While they're not particularly happy to see him take another trip so soon, they're accustomed enough to his absences to not put up too much of a fuss.

After his arrangements are made, Huaisang heads out to the agreed meeting place, dressed down for travel, and waits in front of the inn for his lover to appear.

Ziyao flew into his room without anyone else noticing his absence. The first thing he did was transform back into his borrowed form and request a bath.

He had time to think about things in the tub. Nie Huaisang was with him and wanted to marry him. His mother was safe and he can bow before her with the man he truly loved. His heart fluttered in his chest. Thier love-making was always so intense. But it felt like he had come home in a way he had never felt before. He knew he wanted this.

He never wanted something so badly before and if he had to live his whole life in a feminine form to be with him he was willing.

After his bath, he took out any jewelry he had from the island that was not a betrothal gift so he could sell for supplies. There were a few places he had hidden money in his former life that should be undisturbed he can reach later if he needed.

For now, he grabbed a bit f breakfast gathered his belongings, and went about the market to attain supplies for a wedding. After all of his tasks were done he came back to the inn, walking up to his lover and squeezing his hands.

"Are you ready? I can get a carriage ready. I bought the supplies we needed." the carriage would afford them a bit of privacy at least and he dared not mount Hensheng here.

Open RP Post

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retconning full genderswap powers here.

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