illicitly | Open RP Post

"Huaisang, let me walk you back to your room." His fingers twitch, wanting to reach for the other man's hand but he can't. Not in this room, not with all the eyes on him. But it still aches inside, every time he looks up and sees Huaisang. He's always been pretty but like this?

Jiang Cheng wants to take him and kiss him until he can bring back the smile he wants to see, to make him remember how it felt when they'd been younger, before they'd both lost so much.

"Please." It's softer, but the tone is one he's only ever used with Huaisang.

"Let me accompany you."

It wasn't supposed to be like this. None of it was. Huaisang was never supposed to be sect leader. His brother wasn't supposed to die. He should've lived a long life and been happy. Huaisang may been an ornamental waste of space and air far more often than not but he would've tried, at least, to support his brother whatever way he could even if he'd been unwilling to succeed him.

He sways on his feet a little, lifting a shaky head to his forehead. His eyes turn a little glassy as he falls against Jiang Cheng. To an outside observer, it might seem as if he's simply had too much to drink.

"Okay, Jiang-xiong," he murmurs, his mind numbing even as his heart aches for comfort. "Take me back to my room. Or yours."

He's always been weak to Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng wraps an arm around him, supporting him easily before he guides him from the banquet hall. The Nie sect rooms are closer, at least so finding Huaisang's is easy enough. The door closes behind them and he takes Huaisang over to the bed so he can lie down.

"I'll stay until you're asleep." It's quiet. "I don't want to leave you alone."

Huaisang lays stiffly on the bed, his expression slack as his hands grip and twist one another. His eyes close, his lips pressed tight to keep them from trembling. He's the leader of the Nie now. He still has to be strong for his sect, as his brother than been before them.

After a moment, he looks over at Jiang Cheng, lips turned down into a slight frown.

"You're going to have to , eventually. Leave me alone that is. We can't do the things we could when we were younger anymore."

The words come out quiet and resigned. Huaisang closes his eyes again.

"We can find another way. I don't...I can come see you more often. We can arrange hunts together." He counters quietly, reaching to brush fingertips over his cheek.

"I want to be here for you, Huaisang. I know how difficult this is for you." His eyes close for a moment, Jiang Cheng exhaling a breath.

"Let me help."

Jiang Cheng would know, wouldn't he? He'd been even younger than Huaisang is now when his parents and sect were slain. He'd assumed his position during a war. And here was Huaisang falling apart because his brother had been murdered by someone they'd both cared for during peacetime.

It all makes him sick. Huaisang's hands clench into fists by his sides, his jaw taut as he grinds his teeth. The stare he gives Jiang Cheng is deeply pained and pitiful, his face strained with grief: for his brother, for himself, and for his lover. Or rather former lover if Huaisang can find the strength and courage inside himself to do what needs to be done for both their sakes.

"You can't help me, A-Cheng," he says, his control slipping. fists unclenching as he reaches out to touch him one last time. "We both have a duty to our sects. It's been years. We can't be together the way we both want."

Huaisang's voice breaks but he pushes on. He has to. It's the right thing to do.

For both their sakes.

"We have to let it go and move on."

The touch has him moving, pulling Huaisang into his lap, arms wrapping around him, as he ignores the words coming out of the other man's mouth. They don't matter right now, not after the way Huaisang just looked at him.

That look is something he can't stand. The expression leaving him shaking his head, drawing Huaisang's head down onto his shoulders.

"I have no intention of marrying, Nie Huaisang." It's harsh sounding, his eyes closing for a moment.

"And if you want that, it can wait until tomorrow. Let me help you today."

Huisang sags in Jiang Cheng's arms like a puppet whose strings have been cut. His hands go limp in his lap and he just rests his head against the other man's shoulder. He blinks once, his eyes blurring with unshed tears, his lips starting to tremble. When he's being held so close like this, Huaisang can almost pretend that nothing's change. That neither of their worlds had ended and it was just the two of them, alone, like it'd been those nights back at the Cloud Recesses.

It's wrong, especially after his words about breaking things off between them completely, but Huaisang can't help it. He's coming apart at the seams and Jiang Cheng's offering his help, if only for the night. Huaisang lifts his hand after a while to skim his fingertips lightly across his lover's jawline.

It's not fair. He still loves him. They still love each other.

"A-Cheng, I -"

Huaisang's voice cracks again, followed by a strangled sob. He wants him. He wants him so much.

And he can't have him ever again. He won't dishonor his ancestors, his brother. Nie Mingjue entrusted their sect's future to him by making Huaisang his heir. He can't, he won't betray that trust.

The Qinghe Nie Sect will not suffer another betrayal again. Not as long as Nie Huaisang leads it.

His jaw sets.

"I do," he murmurs, pained. "I intend to marry someday. It's my duty now."

Edited 2020-04-19 23:10 (UTC)

Huaisang leaning into him, that half choked sob has Jiang Cheng tightening his hold briefly, but it's the fingers that have him lifting a hand to catch Huaisang's chin, his lips finding the other sect leader's.

Even if he keeps it brief, his eyes closing when Huaisang finally finished his sentence, the words enough to have him inhaling a breath. But he's not giving up, not yet.

"Someday isn't today, Huaisang. Let me stay with you today." Let him at least offer this much comfort. "..My feelings haven't changed, even if yours have."

They haven't. After this long, Huaisang isn't sure they ever will. But the cunning and crafty side of himself whispers that it's best if Jiang Cheng believes that. It'll be easier on both of them in the end if he thinks that. Jiang Cheng's never liked it much when Huaisang's sacrificed himself for his sake so the best solution is to simply keep it from him.

The kiss, as brief as it is, still ignites his desire. Huaisang can't help but respond to it as he's done so many times before. His body relaxes in Jiang Cheng's arms, becoming more welcoming. His eyes, still damp with unshed tears, meets Jiang Cheng's, mouth slightly downturned in a slight frown. Then he just sighs, long and low. Suddenly, he just feels too tired to think.

"It's only for tonight," Huaisang warns before pressing his lips to the other man's.

Only for tonight. The words locked in his brain but he had no real intention of letting Huaisang hold himself to that. Still for the moment, he moves, shifts until he's pinning Huaisang under him on the bed as he turns that kiss into another one.

"Just let me make you forget for a little while." Because it's the least he can do. He knows what it feels like to be where Huaisang is, after all and unlike himself, Huaisang doesn't have the rage to keep the pain at bay.

"I'll take care of you."

No rage? If only Jiang Cheng knew the truth. If only he knew of the violent thoughts that threatened to consume Huaisang utterly when he allowed himself to think about Jin Guangyao too long. Of how much he yearned to see the man who'd killed his brother broken and bloody with his life tattered in ruins around him.

But for now, Huaisang's willing to let Jiang Cheng lay him down and pin him back onto the bed, weakly returning his kiss. He's still tired and his lover's body is warm enough to distract him from the lonely chill his life will become after this night is over. He won't be able to truly forget all that's happened but he can pretend to, at least for a while, that by itself is enough.

"All right, A-Cheng," he says in a hushed, emotionless tone. "Take care of me."

The lack of response and his tone are enough to have Jiang Cheng pulling back, moving to stretch out beside Huaisang on the bed before he just pulls the other man closer. Fingers smooth through his hair slowly, his eyes half closing.

"I love you, A-Sang." It's quiet, lips brushing his forehead.

This gets more of a response out of Huaisang than pinning and kissing him had. His body was still slack, offering no resistance as Jiang Cheng pulled him closer. His eyes are wet and the tears still refuse to fall but he's actively cuddling closer now, at least. fingers curling a bit into his lover's robes much like they had when they'd shared a bed at the Cloud Recesses so many years ago.

There's so much he can't talk about. So much that Huaisang doesn't really want to talk about. The less Jiang Cheng knows, the safer he'll be when Huaisang's ready to move against Jin Guangyao, he thinks. And he will move against him in time, once he's collected himself, assessed his resources, and thought up a proper plan to put into motion. Neither the Qinghe Nie Sect or it's leader will let this injustice stand.

For now though, he just rests, managing a faint, watery smile when Jiang Cheng says those words. For the first time since they'd first begun saying them to each other, however, Huaisang doesn't say them back.

He believes that they truly will be better off this way with the road ahead of him.

Edited 2020-04-20 02:26 (UTC)

He hadn't really been expecting a response, not with Huaisang in his current state, but it still hurts, his eyes closing before he just drops his head onto the pillow, keeping him close.

"Try to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

He sleeps fitfully, eyelids twitching, his head shaking from side to side. The tears he can't shed when he's awake trickle down his cheeks. More than once, he cries out his brother's name in his sleep all the while begging him not to leave him alone. Desperate apologies for being a bad brother and a bad heir spill from his lips as he sleeptalks in a way he never used to do when they were younger.

All through the night he clings helplessly to Jiang Cheng while sobbing in his sleep.

And then at one point, Huaisang's sleeptalking takes on a very intense tone, his body becoming unusually still as he finally seems to calm down a bit.

"I'll make it right, Da Ge," the distraught young man says in a voice so full of anger and hate that it hardly sounds human at all. "I promise I will."

He doesn't sleep, listens to Huaisang and tries to soothe him through the crying, even if he doesn't try to wake him, but it's the final part that has him focused.

Because he knows that tone, that anger intimately, because he's been there, had exacted his own revenge even if not with his own hands. Still he doesn't speak, just lets Huaisang keep sleeping until morning.

But it's enough to have him thinking, considering his options on how to address this when they're somewhere not a discussion conference.

Eventually, Huaisang awakens, rubbing his eyes and oblivious to anything he'd said in his sleep. Or the fact that he's been talking in his sleep, at all. The members of his sect know better than to ask questions and even if they didn't, no one else has ever been in a position to know.

As he blinks away sleep, he peers blearily at Jiang Cheng.

"You didn't have to stay. Did you get any sleep at all?"

Even if it's crucial that he distance himself now, Huaisang can't help but fuss over him a little. Years of habit aren't so easily broken, it seems.

"Off and on." He lifts a had, fingers idly brushing hair out of Huaisang's face before they drop back to his side.

"If I wanted to spend some time with you in Qinghe, would I be welcome?"

He should refuse. Make this a sharp, clean break so they can both start healing and put the past behind them. Be strong enough to say no.

But he isn't. Not yet.

And he's often dreamed of Jiang Cheng coming to stay with him in the Unclean Realm, at least for a visit. The land is rough and rugged, nowhere as beautiful as Lotus Pier, but it's still home.

Huaisang's expression remains blank, his eyes sliding away to rest on the door. One of his mem should be arriving to check on him and inform him when his horse is ready. After a moment, he speaks slowly and cautiously.

"If you want to come, you may."

The photoshoot had dwindled over the course of the day, the rest of their circle leaving until he was the last one there, still in the full costume he'd been given for the day, gaze drifting to Huaisang for a moment as he waited for the directions.

Because he was honestly ready for this to be over, at least enough so he could change back into normal clothing, fingers flexing at his side as he turned different directions when told.

"Do you have everything you need, yet?" during a break between photos.

Edited 2020-04-29 20:51 (UTC)

"Almost. Just need a few more shots then I'll be done," the photographer says in a somewhat breathless voice, face a little flushed.

It's been quite some time since Huaisang's had such an attractive subject on the other side of his lens. He's been pretty thorough so far and at least a few of these shots are going into frames at home. Huaisang flicks his ponytail back over his shoulder before making a few more adjustments to his camera.

Once he finishes, Huaisang takes a few more pictures. Really, he can't keep dragging this out as reluctant as he is to let this fellow go and inevitably walk out of his life. As soon as he's done, he straightens up, smiling softly.

"There. All done. You can start undressing now," he declares absently, not quite realizing the slip he'd just made.

He folllowed every instruction, but once the photographer had released him?

Jiang Cheng took his hair down first, letting the wavy length frame his face as his hands dropped to work the bracers off his arms.

He'd kept his normal pants on under the robes since most of the shoots had him standing anyway, so disrobing, even if he was careful with the fabric and accessories, doesn't take long. Jiang Cheng lays the robes aside, end up just standing there in a pair of well fitting black jeans, bare chested for the moment before he spots his bag.

And walks over to dig into it for his shirt.

Oh, he's nice. Very nice. That upper body, the way those jeans hug his ass and thighs. Huaisang's a weak man, especially when presented with such delectable physical perfection. He can't help but lick his lips as he sneakily aims his camera toward the young man, pretending to be fiddling with the adjustments again, then presses the button.

Flash.

Sorry, young man, but Huaisang just couldn't help but steal one more for himself.

"Oh, sorry, I accidentally hit the button and it went off..."

Liar.

The flash has him turning to look at the other man, one eyebrow rising slowly. Because unlike his brother, he's not an idiot who can't see what's right in front of him and his gaze drifts over the photographer for a moment.

He's pretty, Wanyin will admit that easily enough, pulling on a shirt that does little to hide anything before he moves towards Huaisang, footsteps deliberate as he crosses the floor.

"...Accidentally." He echoes the word quietly as he stops directly in front of the photographer.

Open RP Post

Re: our other threads are too cute so this one has to be sad now

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modern AU, probably nsfw in comments.

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